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People | Brighter Fostering
I would love to foster, but I could not say goodbye

I would love to foster, but I could not say goodbye

Why the fear of “getting too attached” shouldn’t stop you from fostering

I’d love to foster, but….   

Our May blog aimed to address some of the common myths and buts that prevent people from applying to be foster carers. Now you may be thinking that fostering could be right for you and your family, but you still have concerns.

Our June blog discusses one of the biggest buts for many people … I’d love to foster, but I couldn’t say goodbye.

Throughout our June blog, we will explore why a fear of getting too attached shouldn’t deter you from fostering and why it may make you the perfect person.

When and why do foster children move on?

In some cases, fostering can turn into a permanent living arrangement.

However, most children leave foster care to return to their birth families, when the birth parents or their family members have received the support needed to enable them to provide a safe and stable home for their child. 

Alternatively, some children may move on to another more permanent home, such as an adoptive family or permanent fostering home.

Children may reach the age of 18 when in your care and you may support them to move onto independent or supported living arrangements. 

(NSPCC 2021)

How can I cope with saying goodbye? 

Saying goodbye to a child who has become a part of your family will be hard and your emotions are valid and understandable. We are human and foster carers will and should form strong bonds with the children in their care.

Being concerned about getting too attached is not a hindrance, it’s an asset. Being able to build a strong attachment with a child will enable you to attune to their needs and help them to thrive when they’re with you and in the future.

People foster for many years and say goodbye to many children. Resilience will come with time and through the knowledge that you and your family made a positive difference to the life of the foster child.

Remember – you are not on your own! 

Your support network will no doubt play an important part in your fostering journey. If you are in a couple, lean on each other. Reach out to friends. Talk to fellow foster carers about their experiences.

Your supervising social worker will also make sure that you are supported fully in both a practical and emotional sense, whether that involves training, taking a break or talking through your feelings.

“Do not let the fear of having a child that might leave deter us; instead let the fear of a child never knowing our love drive us” (Johnson 2022)

Let’s keep answering your concerns!

We would love to have the opportunity to support you through your fostering journey.

If you would love to foster but have those niggling questions or concerns, our friendly and approachable team are here to help- you won’t know until you ask!

You can reach us by email:

Or by phone: 0113 350 9006 or 07368594169

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